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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:39 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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While Draco definitely understood Harry’s impulse to leave; it wasn’t like Draco had really given him much of a reason to stick around. However, the idea that Harry suddenly wouldn’t be around made Draco’s heart break, not prepared to be without him just yet.
He was working completely on muscle memory when he got up from his chair, his hands finding Harry’s the way that they had done so many times before, painfully familiar with his curves and the way his stubble felt against his hand.
It was absolutely impossible for Draco not to lean in and kiss him, trying to convince himself that this was just a send off. He could kiss him this last time and it was all going to be alright anyway and it wasn’t going to undermine the fact that he had just ended things between them.
He almost believed it.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2023 5:15 am 

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Draco's touch was devastatingly soft, forcing Harry's attention off of the desk. With a sense of vertigo, it narrowed his field of view to just Draco, beautiful and perhaps even miserable, for that short moment in time before he kissed Harry his goodbyes. For how many kisses they had shared, this was so foreign to Harry that he could sob.
This really should have been it. Draco had told him this was it, and ignoring that was doubt to be ruinous. But then again, Harry wasn't much known for his self preservation.
Tipping his chin upwards into Draco's touch, Harry returned the kiss after a moment of hesitation, searching for something that felt more familiar. It was pitiful and indulgent in equal measures, unable to shake the feeling that they would end the moment their lips parted.
Fearfull in the prospect of Draco's absence, Harry's hand ghosted over Draco's midriff in search for a way to prolong it, catching the fabric of his shirt in a loose hold, pleading him to stay close.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2023 1:14 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It took desperately little for Draco to shift his grip, moving instead to bury his hands in Harry’s hair, finding the sensation to terribly familiar and aching with the prospect of this being the last time he got this. He wanted to be able to press his regrets into Harry’s skin, wanting to somehow convey that this wasn’t what he wanted but it was what he needed to do.
It was lovely and comforting and as long as Draco didn’t think of it too much, he could ignore that this was goodbye.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2023 2:21 pm 

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The feeling of Draco’s hands carding through his hair made Harry’s spine turn into jelly with sheer relief, having failed to realise just how scared he had been of Draco’s rejection. This already felt like asking too much, but Harry knew he would keep asking for more, for as long as Draco provided it so willingly and easily.
Almost able to convince himself that this was still allowed, Harry’s adjusted his grip around Draco’s shirt, both hands instead finding his waist and egging him closer, desperate to drown any sense of rationality in this delusion.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2023 4:17 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It honestly was a recipe for disaster.
Draco knew it and Harry had to know it as well.
They both knew that they couldn’t keep going on the way that they had before, yet neither of them were willing to let it go just yet; both of them desperately clinging onto what little comfort they could still get from each other.
Draco easily leaned into the touch, finding it familiar and comfortable, aware of how times they had been locked together like this in the past and just how easy it felt.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:03 am 

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The weight of Draco’s body against his made a shaky breath escape Harry, pinched between Draco and his desk in a way that made his head spin. Tomorrow would be devastating, certain Draco’s absence would wreck through Harry’s body like the pain for a phantom limb, but in this embrace, Harry still felt whole in a way he only recently had started to feel. He knew he had no claim to Draco, even less so when it felt so selfish to want him, but a middle ground existed where, if he couldn’t keep him for the rest of their lives, perhaps he could have him now.
Shifting further onto the desk, Harry created enough space between them for his hands to trail from Draco’s waist to the fly of his trousers, every touch a plea for more.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2023 4:05 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Every touch Harry bestowed upon him seemed like too much, yet he was left with a desire for more.
He was desperately aware of the fact that he had been the one to just end things with Harry, yet he also needed absolutely everything that he could possibly get out of this interaction.
His grip on Harry’s hair changed slightly, pulling him away slightly to instead be able to press sloppy kisses to his jaw and neck. He took a moment to just take in all of Harry and enjoy their last moments together like this.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he muttered into the soft skin of Harry’s neck. hoping that their momentary lapse in sanity would last them all the way to the bedroom.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2023 8:50 am 

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The sound of Draco’s voice wrecked through the silence of the room, although it could have been spoken directly into Harry’s mind, the way it muddled with his hammering pulse. It sent a full body shudder through Harry, making his hands stall for a purpose.
The question - the encouragement - was so deliberate compared to anything before it. Before Draco had spoken out loud, this could still be considered a single impulse running its course, but suddenly, this afforded a moment to reconsider, be smart and back off.
Harry felt himself teetering on the verge of ruin, suspended only by the hold Draco had of his hair - and heart.
His hands finding Draco’s hips, Harry pushed at him to back up and slipping off the table as soon as there were a mere few inches for him to fill.
“Please, yes,” he choked, because really, there was no other option for them.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2023 3:23 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Harry was positively mouthwatering as he stood there in front of Draco, begging him to take him upstairs, and it made Draco realise just what a horrible mistake he was making in thinking that he was going to be able to be without him.
However, it was far too late for Draco to take anything back, knowing that it was for the better that the two of them were over.
That didn’t stop him from taking Harry’s hand though, wishing that they could stay close forever, but he knew that they would have to be separated for just a moment until they got upstairs.

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PostThis post was deleted by Nymeria on Fri Apr 07, 2023 3:48 pm.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2023 4:01 pm 

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____

Harry’s heartbeat had barely settled before anxiety got a hold of it, raising his pulse all over again. As he laid on his back in Draco’s bed, dread crept up his spine, making his throat close up to the point it was hard to breathe. It wasn’t regret - Harry knew he could never regret any of this - but Merlin, did he feel awful.
For how impossibly close they had just been, they weren’t touching any longer. It wasn’t intentional and yet it was, because Draco had called this off, and Harry shouldn’t even have asked for this, to be here regardless.
Wanting to claw at the part of his brain that went haywire whenever Draco reached for him, Harry rubbed his fingers against his eyes to the point of seeing stars, a shaky exhale escaping him.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 1:44 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The guilt hit Draco the second he and Harry were no longer touching.
Part of him wanted to reach out for him, but he knew that it would be no use. Breaking up with Harry was the right thing to do, he knew that deep inside, but Harry had become such an ingrained part of his life that having to go without him felt like losing part of himself.
He couldn’t find it in himself to say anything, having too many things he wanted to say but absolutely none of them were appropriate.

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it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 2:10 pm 

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Harry didn’t truly think he had expected Draco to speak, and still his silence felt hurtful, twisting his guts. Dropping his hands from his face, Harry sat up, turning to the edge of the bed without ever truly looking at Draco.
“I’m gonna go,” Harry repeated dully, although the definitiveness of the statement had changed since he last said it, back in Draco’s office. This time it wasn’t a question, and this time, he actually stood up.
Despite a vague awareness of Draco’s instruction to keep his use of magic to a minimum - and the fact that Harry had never used magic in Draco’s bedroom, never left him in bed like this - Harry summoned his scattered clothes without much consideration. The wool of his work trousers scratched up the length of his legs, having grown unaccustomed to this swift of an exit; but his chest felt like bursting and if he was going to have to commit to this, he would have to leave immediately, not trusting himself not to buckle on every principle.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 2:56 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco knew that this was the only logical end to their hookup, yet he felt like throwing up when Harry announced that he was leaving. There was nothing he wanted more than to pull him right back to bed, telling him that he had made a terrible mistake and that they should keep doing this together.
“Right,” he muttered, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to speak much louder without his voice breaking. He also couldn’t get himself to look up as Harry collected his belongings, forcing his eyes to the ceiling instead, completely unable to wrap his head around this actually happening.

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it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 3:17 pm 

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It took Draco speaking for Harry to look up at him, an inevitable pang of expectation in his gaze and the subsequent disappointment when he found that he wasn’t meeting his gaze.
Struck with the intimacy of looking at Draco like this, and a sense that it was no longer permitted, Harry ducked his head to shuck his shirt on. His hands were a little frantic as he buttoned it, his attempt at dressing himself having to outpace the tumble of pleas and curses forming at the back of his throat. Harry was so utterly devastated that it hurt, and yet so painfully aware of the fact that he had no right to be. Every emotion died on his tongue, although its corpse was hard to swallow.
“I’ll see you at work, then,” he muttered, his voice tight. He did mean well, though, and in a delayed attempt to reaffirm it, he cast Draco a glance and a barely-there-smile.
Then he turned to leave. Harry picked off his coat manually off of the floor as he passed it, and left Draco’s room for the kitchen without looking back at Draco, closing the door behind him.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 3:27 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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As the door clicked shut behind Harry, it took everything in Draco to not break down sobbing immediately. He was painfully aware of the fact that Harry would have to make his way to the kitchen before he would be able to leave the manor, and Draco knew that he would have to stay lying motionless otherwise he might run after him and beg him not to leave.
This wasn’t fair.
It didn’t feel at all fair that he couldn’t have the career that he happened to know that he deserved while also having Harry. He knew that both Paul and Hannah were right, of course he knew that, but it did really underline to Draco how he never seemed to get to be truly happy.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2023 1:02 pm 

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_________

When Draco had asked to be taken somewhere else than the Tadpole to avoid the risk of running into Potter, Hannah hadn’t known where else to take him - and Paul, ever supportive - than to Sappho.
It was quite the sight, seeing Draco and Paul perched side by side in her favourite lesbian bar in down town London. Being a muggle bar, they both looked a little ruffled, all three having worn hastily cast glamorous to blur the Ministry paraphernalia adorning their coats when they entered. That was some while ago, and several pints later, and still Draco had yet to elaborate and Hannah’s patience had dulled by the third pint.
“What’s going on with you and Potter?” she asked when there was a lull in the conversation, a little blunt and trying not to get her hopes up.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2023 3:20 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco had gotten used to the bluntness of Hannah during his time working with her, and if he was being honest with himself then he greatly preferred it. He was always sure if there was something that she wanted to know or if there was something she was dissatisfied with, and while this didn’t really come as a surprise to him, he figured that he at least owed both of them an answer.
After all, the only reason that the three of them were even at a lesbian bar in the first place was because Draco had all but begged them to take him out but not to the Tipsy Tadpole.
He gingerly placed his wineglass back on the table, taking a moment to steel himself before answering the question, not wanting to accidentally choke up.
“There is nothing going on with me and Potter,” Draco stated, the most truthful he had ever been about his relationship with Harry, and somehow it still made his stomach churn. “And I am being honest this time. There is absolutely nothing going on.”

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2023 1:31 pm 

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Although her posture didn’t shift it was almost instinctive how Hannah’s eyes darted to Buchannan, just for an instance. Hannah and Paul had never openly discussed it, but it had been a worry they’d both shared silently.
A more noticeable reaction, Hannah tipped her chin slightly upwards when her attention returned to Draco.
“Good,” she praised, the sentiment genuine although her voice remained stern at best.
Paul, too, nodded at that, slow and a little solemn, turning to look at Draco. “Good call.”


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2023 2:24 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco had thought that gaining the approval of Hannah and Paul would help him feel better about having ended things with Harry, however it only served to make his stomach churn again, still not feeling at all good about the way that he had to end things.
Rather than voice that though, he simply grabbed his glass with a short nods towards the both of them, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to acknowledge it further than that. Instead he took a sip from the glass and willed the wine to ease the knots rapidly forming in his stomach.

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